Skateboarders: Cool Dudes or the Anti-Christ?

Ok, I have to get this off my chest. I have found the first thing that I hate about California. At first I thought this was a dreamland. I mean look at the weather, the scenery, the women. What could anyone complain about? Until now… It took me almost two full years of living in the wonderful state of California to find it but it literally just hit me (this will be a pretty apparent joke in about 10 seconds) so here it goes.

I FREAKING HATE SKATEBOARDERS!!!!!!

Wow. That felt surprisingly very good. Back home in Boston, you were the weird kid if you were the one rocking a skateboard. No one did it. No one had one. No one would be caught dead riding a skateboard. Here out in apparently the Bizarro World of Santa Clara, California apparently every male undergrad at this damn school has a skateboard. They all ride around likes its no big thing and can’t control anything that they are doing. As of today I have been either crashed into or hit by an errant skateboard three separate times. You ever been hit on the side of an ankle with a skateboard? That freaking kills. Luckily each time it was some small hippy looking kid that couldn’t do any damage from crashing into me but what if someone was my size and crashed into someone their size on a skateboard. I would honestly kill them.

Its not like this campus is monstrous and that walking from one end of the other takes any time what so ever. Literally to walk from the furthest point on the south of Campus to the north is about a 7-minute walk. The skateboard isn’t going to save you that much time over walking. The point is people do it here to look cool and not for the functionality purpose. I mean seriously. I saw a kid walk out of Benson Center, drop down his skateboard, skateboard the 40 yards to his dorm room, pick up his skateboard and walk into this dorm. Was the skateboard necessary in the least bit?

The only good point of the skateboard is that I get to laugh my ass off probably once every other week when I see a kid take a freaking digger of one of these things. There is nothing funnier then seeing a kid trying to act all cool on his skateboard eat shit. To me it is becoming the new nut shot. Now most people would try and not laugh in someone’s face when this happens but my hatred for skateboarders has become so deep that I don’t hide a damn thing. I laugh out loud and right in their face. Serves them right for being a douche on a skateboard.

I know I am not alone in this sentiment. If I was in charge of Santa Clara University I would make skateboarding illegal on campus. Let them ride around anywhere they want outside of campus but once on campus, you are footing it. They are one big collision away from having a big lawsuit on their hands and this is the simple solution to preventing it.

So here it is. Santa Clara University is currently looking for a new President and I see no better candidate then myself. I am educated, Catholic, have current leaderships roles by being President of the Law School Basketball League, etc. I mean lets be honest, this campus would become a whole lot more interesting if I was in charge. At this point I would like to throw my name in to the ring as a potential candidate to be the new president of Santa Clara University. Can we change (most importantly getting these damn skateboarders of this campus)? YES WE CAN!!!

JOHN F. KAZANOVICZ II IN 2008!!!!!