Saturday, March 29, 2008

The Second Annual Law Prom Awards

Ladies and Gentlemen, last night was the annual Barristers Ball, which is more commonly referred to as Law Prom. Last year I came up with some awards to celebrate the night so I thought I would do it again. So without further ado here are the awards for last night’s Barristers Ball. Last year I disqualified myself from the awards because I picked them but I felt like I should have won a few of them. So this year, I am eligible to win every award if I so choose. Back off if you know whats good for you.

Best Dressed Male

This was a highly debated category. On one hand you had a guy dress in an all white tuxedo. On the other hand you had four guys rocking the all black look. Based on the fact that the all white tuxedo cost Mr. Arroyo around $150 to rent it for the night I am going to go with the all black look done by Mr. Tony Stanitsas, Mr. Michael Riccoboni, Mr. Brandon Douglass, and of course myself. All black like a homie. You know it.

(This was a complete homer pick considering I am one of the people that were dressed in all black. In actuality Luiz in an all white tuxedo was the best dressed person there but this is my award show so I’m giving myself and my fellow comrades this one.)

Best Dressed Female

While the Best Dressed Male Category was a highly contested debate the Best Dressed Female was without a question. Ms. Jenny Riccoboni took this one hands down. Not even a question. I think you can ask anyone; this was the dress of the night. Kudos to you Jenny.

The "Stomp the Yard Best Dance Sequence" Award

It is only our third category of the award show and we are going to have two double winners already. When Bel Biv Devo’s “Poison” came on Ms. Jenny Ricco and I tried our best to try and do the dance from the video. Based on the accounts of others that watched us, we did a superb job. We definitely won that award as well.

The "John Milko Most Likely to Pee Somewhere Inappropriate" Award

There were a lot of questions about the name and idea of this award from last year so I thought I would clarify at this point. In college one of our frat brothers, John Milko, would get drunk and proceed to urinate in inappropriate places like the chair in the room across the hall or on a pile of clothes in his neighbor’s room. Either way this year’s winner goes to Mr. Arroyo. He was lit up like a Christmas tree and was stumbling around like it was no one’s business and it was better that we was wearing an all white tuxedo, even down to the shoes.

The "Turd in the Punch Bowl" Award

While discussing how Vanni will be having his bachelor party in Vegas sometime in the upcoming year or so, his lovely fiancĂ© Sheeva put an absolute ban on Strippers at his bachelor party. I mean seriously? Come on. A bachelor party without strippers is like a baseball game without bats. It just won’t work. It is like a BLT without the Bacon. It would just be a Lettuce and Tomato sandwich. You are missing the essence of the sandwich there just like you are missing the essence of the bachelor party without the strippers. It will just be our little secret when we are in Vegas next summer for the Vanni Bachelor Party.

The "Wow! Those are New" Award

While in law school you generally only get to see the women covered up in class. I mean most of the girls come to class and they are bundled up even though this is California and there is never a day under 50 degrees here. However for two nights out of the year (the other being Halloween Bar Review) the ladies of Santa Clara School of Law decide to show off a little skin and they did not disappoint this night at all. There were plenty of ladies showing off a bunch of cleavage (or which someone refers to Su-Su) and let me tell you that it was quite a shocker by some. I will remain nameless because I am a gentleman but just wow. Some were just hanging out there and some I couldn’t keep my eyes off of much to chagrin of my lovely date but there was definitely one girl in particular that even she couldn’t keep her eyes off of. She is the winner of the Wow! Those are New Award.

The "Moment of the Night" Award

Another one of the easiest awards to decide. At one point Sarah and I were dancing and we were really getting into it dancing to anything and everything. Next thing you know Andrew “Pokey” Cross and his lovely date Kelli started dancing next to us. They start dancing all crazy. The floor at this point was a bit slick from plenty of people spilling their beverages all over the place. So I’m dancing with Sarah and look over at Pokey and Kelli dancing right at the right time. Next thing I know Kelli steps to the left and she is slips right there. I mean she was on the floor. She took one of the best dance floor diggers of all time. I reached down with Pokey and picked her right up and made a comment about how the floor was slick. Pokey took a look at me, rolled his eyes, and said “The slick floor, right.” A classic moment. While this didn’t top last year’s moment in all actuality nothing ever could.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Movies All Guys Should See


As a male between the age of 16 and 30, I have seen a lot of movies and watched a lot of television and hence feel the need to get through my day (and more importantly my life) by incessantly quoting them. Hell, I have had entire conversations with people in which it is just movie quotes (See: Any conversation between Andrew Cross and I). But it has come to my attention that some people haven’t seen as many movies and I have and more importantly the most important movies that pretty much every guy (I was going to go with everyone, but that just seemed like to big of a task) should have seen by this point in their life. I am coming to save everyone from this and going to list the movies that I think every male between the ages of 16-30 should have seen by now. Most will be obvious but I will explain my choices to the ones that don’t seem to fit. I am indefinitely going to miss something, so back the fuck off if you know what’s good for you.

Mafia Movie Category

· The Godfather

· The Godfather, Part II

· Goodfellas

· Donnie Brasco

· Casino

· Scarface

· On the Waterfront

· A Bronx Tale

· Pulp Fiction

· The Departed

· Heat



Action Movie Category

· Die Hard

· Die Hard 2

· Rambo

· Gladiator

· Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Arc

· Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

· Terminator 2: Judgment Day

· Saving Private Ryan

· Full Metal Jacket

· Apocalypse Now

· Platoon

· Bloodsport

· Predator

· Bad Boyz

· 007: Casino Royale

· 007: Goldfinger

· 007: Goldeneye

· Bladerunner

· Independence Day

· Jurassic Park

· Ocean’s 11

· Snatch

· Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels

· Se7en

· Fight Club

· Top Gun

· American History X

· JAWS

· RoboCop

· Road House

· The Rock

· Braveheart



Comedy Movie Category

· Animal House

· Caddy Shack

· Dumb and Dumber

· Tommy Boy

· Billy Madison

· Monty Python and the Holy Grail

· Airplane!

· Blazing Saddles

· Young Frankenstein

· The Big Lewbowski

· Ghostbusters

· 40 Year Old Virgin

· Superbad

· Knocked Up

· Old School

· Anchorman

· Spaceballs

· Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

· The Jerk

· My Cousin Vinny

· Wayne’s World

· American Pie

· Friday

· Happy Gilmore

· Beverly Hills Cop

· Super Troopers

· This is Spinal Tap

· The Naked Gun

· Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

· Groundhog’s Day

· Wedding Crashers

· Swingers

· The Goonies

· Revenge of the Nerds

· Big

· Zoolander

· Dazed and Confused

· Grandma’s Boy

· Talladega Nights

· There’s Something About Mary

· Gremlins

· South Park: The Movie

· Rush Hour

· Renaissance Man

· Austin Powers

· Office Space

· Three Amigos

· Rushmore

· Bottle Rocket

· Clerks

· Waterboy

· Weekend at Bernies (Pokey demanded this and although I disagree he says the lone qualification is you must see this movie and therefore it belongs)



The “I Can’t Place It but it’s a Really Good” Movie Category (so basically a drama or a horror or suspense or really something I can't place)

· The Princess Bride

· Things to Do in Denver When You’re Dead (I bet more then 95% of you haven’t seen this one. Go out and rent it or Netflix it because it is just awesome)

· Good Will Hunting

· The Shawshank Redemption

· The Usual Suspects

· Rounders

· Back to the Future

· Stand by Me

· Silence of the Lambs

· One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

· The Shining

· Tombstone

· A Few Good Men

· Forest Gump



The Sports Movie Category

· Hoosiers

· Blue Chips

· The Program

· Raging Bull

· Bull Durham

· Rocky 1-4 (But not 5, you hear me!)

· Slapshot

· The Longest Yard (the original with Burt Reynolds, not that piece of crap with Adam Sandler)

· Brian’s Song (if you don’t cry at this flick, you are not human)

· Any Given Sunday

· Field of Dreams

· Pumping Iron (the unintentional comedy in this movie is ridiculous. It could go in the comedy section it is that funny)

· The Bad News Bears (once again, the original)

· Remember the Titans

· Rudy

· Major League 1 and 2

· White Men Can’t Jump (You can listen to Jimi, but you can’t hear Jimi.)

· Karate Kid

· Searching for Bobby Fisher (Take the dwaw. You alweady lost and you don’t even know it)

· The Natural

· Hoop Dreams

· Miracle

· Teen Wolf

· He Got Game



Sci-Fi/Fantasy Category

· Star Wars IV: The New Hope

· Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back

· Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi

· Lord of the Ring 1: The Fellowship of the Ring

· Lord of the Ring 2: The Two Towers

· Lord of the Ring 3: The Return of the King

· The Matrix

· Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Now I know that some of your favorite movies have been missed on this list. I am just one man and there is no way I could have come up with a truly comprehensive list. This list has been weeks in the making but as always I accept your feedback and comments. Also I have actually seen every one of these movies. So if something amazing is not on there it might be because I have no seen it (cough, Batman Begins, cough).