Marcia's Column #2

I subscribe to cosmo, so obviously I like it, but I have to say the April issue I got a couple of days ago was by far my favorite.

Here is a list of interesting things I learned in this month's cosmo. . .

1. If Craig Young tries to use a "coy line" on you, like "Aren't you hot, why don't you take your shirt off?" or "I'm tired, let's take a nap", he's trying to get you into bed. Thank you, Cosmo, for telling me that when a guy "coyly" suggests I take off my clothes or get in a bed with him, that he wants to have sex with me. . . that was a hard code to crack.

(side note to people from Brown: the reason I mentioned Craig Young in particular is because he is pictured in this month's Cosmo in the "the secrets behind his seduction style" as the guy who uses "coy lines")

2. In ancient Greece if a man was caught cheating, they would punish him by sticking a radish in his rectum. . . I think this rule should be reinstituted as a formal punishment in our justice system, immediately

3. Guys who have blue eyes are naturally more attracted to girls with blue eyes because then if the woman has a brown eyed child (basically impossible genetically to have a brown eyed child with 2 blue eyed parents) he knows that its not his. . . it helps him "know his children". 1. I am excited that within the population of blue eyed guys I have an advantage. . . think about these guys who are blue eyed. . . Brad Pitt, Matthew Mc Conaughey (aren't you jealous?) 2. if I do end up with a brown eyed guy (I am currently dating one), that means I can have anyone's child and he'll never know!! Well, maybe not ANYONE, if the child were a different race that would probably be a good indication that it wasn't his. . . damn it.

4. Putting a condom on with your mouth is called "Italian style". Why would you feel the need to put a condom on with your mouth? Apparently since I am Italian this should be a regular occurrence for me, but I see this ending in 2 very bad ways. . . 1. latex mouth (I can not say from experience that latex tastes bad, but I can't imagine it tastes good) and 2. a hole in the condom from your teeth. Perhaps it's the non- Italian half of me that dislikes latex mouth and unplanned pregnancy.

As a final note for the week I would like to mention how badly Kaz has screwed me over in my last 2 march madness brackets:

In 2006, he convinced me that Florida was a bad pick because they "always choke in the tournament" and

in 2007, he told me that "I picked too many # 1's, 2's, and 3's" and claimed that you never get that many top seeds in the elite eight. Apparently, I did not learn my lesson in 2006, because I got rid of my initial bracket and tried to pick some lower ranked teams. Now I am second to last in my work bracket and it's his fault that I am now perpetuating the stereotype of the dumb girl who knows nothing about sports

I haven't yet decided if he purposely sabotages me or he's just an idiot . . . I'm betting on idiot (though he'll probably convince me that a smarter bet would be to assume I'm just a dumb girl. . . what a jerk)