Where it Began...

You probably all know that "Where it Began..." is the first line to Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond and the unofficial anthem of Red Sox Nation. Many of people out here in California have asked me where that has come from and why it became the Rallying Cry of the Boston Red Sox Faithful. They generally ask me this as I am belting it out on Thursday night Karaoke at the Claran. I don't have an answer to these people but that doesn't stop me from screaming "Go Red Sox!!!" at the conclusion of it every time I sing it.

Why did I start out this post with that Headline and Paragraph? Well because I thought you would all X out the window after you realize that this is going to be a column about how great it is to be a Boston Sports Fan right now. I know you are all probably sick of reading how awesome the Red Sox, Patriots, Celtics and Boston College Eagles are doing right now but come on, even if you are sick of it you have to be impressed by the unprecedented level of success going on right now in Boston.

Quick Run Down of the Boston Sports:

Boston Red Sox: Best Record in Major League Baseball during the regular season and a World Series Championship, there 2nd in 4 years.

New England Patriots: 8-0, Best Record in the NFL. Averaging over 42 points a game while only giving up 16. They have the midway point MVP in Tom Brady (he's also the MDP, Most Dreamiest Player as well).

Boston College Eagles: 8-0 #2 in the current BCS standings. This is probably the most improbable one because no one in college football saw this one coming. Their quarterback, Matt Ryan, is one of the front runners for the Heisman Trophy.

Boston Celtics: The Vegas favorite to win the Eastern Conference. The addition of Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen gives the Celtics three 20ppg career scorers. In a waterdowned Eastern Conference they should win 55-60 games this year.

Boston Bruins: Well...umm.....lets move on.

I was talking to my dad about this phenomenon the other day and he said that the closest thing this comparable to is back in 1986 when the Red Sox, Celtics, and Patriots all played for a Championship. However, as we know only the Celtics pulled that out, the ball went through Buckner's legs, and the Patriots got clobbered in the biggest blowout in Superbowl History. (On a side note, I trully believe the '86 Celtics are the greatest Team in NBA history. They had three Hall of Famers all at the Apex of their careers and went 68-14 and a NBA record 40-1 at home. I mean they were so stacked they had Bill Walton, another Hall of Famer, coming off the bench)

So who knows. This whole thing can blow up next week. The Patriots could lose to the Colts in Indy. BC could lose to anyone of Clemson, Florida St. or Miami. The Celtics could not mesh together because they have too many first option guys.

Think about it. Before this sudden wave of success the Teams in Boston were pitiful. The Red Sox didn't win a World Series in 86 years. The Patriots were the laughing stock of the NFL for the 70's and 80's. The Bruins would get bounced from the Playoffs in the first round every year. The Celtics after dominating for most of the 80's were the first team in the NBA for the last two years and pretty much all the time before that. We were a joke of a sports city.

All I know is that right now I am living the dream when it comes to watching my teams play and I am going to soak it in while I can because who knows when this is going to end.

But I'll End it with how I started it... because honestly for Boston Sports Fans, good times have never been so good (so good, so good, so good). I've been inclined to believe they never would.

Sweet Caroline

What Did I learn from 48 Hours on the Couch

Last Tuesday night I completely threw out my back and was subjected to laying on the couch unable to stand or sit up for 48 hours. I was unable to go to class, work out, or sit on the toilet with out being in excruciating pain. This was the most frustrating injury maybe ever because I was literally immobile. I had to rely on other people to do normal things for me like, get me a bottle of water from the fridge, bring me some advil or hand me the remote. However 48 hours straight on the couch taught me a lot of things. A lot of things that you wouldn't ever think about except if you had to be this immobile.

1) I have some really good friends. Multiple different people took time out of the their busy days to come over and hang out with me because I was bored silly. Whether it was coming over to watch a Red Sox playoff game, coming over to hang out after dinner, or bringing me drugs someone was with me pretty much the entire 48 hours.

2) Vicodin is one hell of a drug. I mean I can understand why this shit can get sold on the street. I mean this pill completely got rid of the pain and generally put me right to sleep which is a really good thing when you can't move. You can't be bored if you sleep like crazy.

3) www.tv-links.co.uk is the single greatest website of all time. It literally has "free" episodes of every tv show that was ever made. Before you come back at me and say, "Hey man, where's Small Wonder? You know that creepy show with the little girl that was really a doll or robot. It isn't there." First off, I would say Fuck You. Secondly, it doesn't have every show but it has pretty much everything you would ever want to watch. Hey Dude, The Smurfs, Dynosaucers, etc. are all there. Go ahead and enjoy yourself.

4) Did I mention how awesome Vicodin is? I mean really, really good stuff there.

5) Ok, this one I knew already but it took this 2 days to really sit down and figure it out. Using the previously mentioned website I decided to do what Tommy Hartnett, Mark Vanni and Bill Simmons have been telling me to do for the last year, starting watching The Wire. Tommy said give it 3 shows and you will be hooked. He was wrong. It only took 2. This is honestly the greatest show on TV. I have watched almost 2 whole seasons and I can't rave about this show enough. I watched the first 7 episodes in a row. (What can I say, I was incredibly incredibly bored on that damn couch) The show follows the drug trafficking in Baltimore, Maryland and how the police use technology and cool shit like that to bring them down. From this show I have learned more about probable cause then Criminal Law and Criminal Procedure classes ever have. I don't do this because I don't want people to come back and say "WTF?!?!?! You recommended that shit and it sucked" but you need to start watching because this is the single best show on TV. Better then The Sopranos, Better then 24, Better then anything you can come up with. You will regret not watching it when it is all said and done.

I am now up and around and I am really excited to be walking and able to function as part of society and I hope I never hurt my back like that again but at the same time I learned a ton of cool shit from those 48 hours on the couch. And if anyone else can score me some Vicodin I would be much obliged.

Rock of Love

I don’t know if I have expressed this to everyone but one of the greatest television shows of all time ended last night. A show that will go down in the annals of television history. It is the single greatest show of all time and I am so upset that it is over. Of course I am talking about Rock of Love with Bret Michaels. A direct clone of Flavor of Love and I Love New York there was something else with this show that put it directly above them. A certain something that I can’t put my finger on…oh wait I got it, 20 whores fighting for the affection of a washed-up 80’s hair band lead singer.

The show started off with 20 women showing up. Bret’s head of security, Big John, kicked five off before the show had even started. He walked up to them and picked out the least attractive 5 before even letting them get in the house. Sorry ladies you aren’t good enough to degrade yourself on national TV for Bret Michaels. You aren’t good enough to compete in challenges like, have Phone Sex with Bret while he has a machine that measures the blood flow to his genitalia attached to see who turned him on the most. You aren’t good enough to play tackle football in the mud in little outfits that got ripped off. You aren’t good enough to see how quickly you can change outfits in a Port-o-potty.

The show had 5 major superstars of contestants. Heather, the 31 year-old stripper that decided that the best way to turn on an 80’s hair band lead singer is to dress and wear your hair like an 80’s porn star. She was manipulative and referred to her chest as her Tatters. She thought it would be cool to get a tattoo that said “BRET” on the back of her neck before the show was over. Needless to say that when she didn’t win she started to flip out that she had his named tattooed on the back of her neck. Listen you dumb whore, tattoos are permanent and you are an idiot for getting his name tattooed on the back of your neck. She also had the line of the season when she said, “I’m not a hater, I’m a congratulator. If I see a hot chick I will say it.”

Lacey, was a spoiled rich girl that hid her true life style from her parents. Everyone in the house hated her and she cried every time something went wrong and because of it she got to stay on the show until the final 3. Her father is the unintentional comedy champion. He told Bret that if Lacey won and they got married that he would have to sign a pre-nup because he was a wealthy man and didn’t want him to marry his daughter for money.

Erin and Brandi C get lumped together because well there was no difference between the two really. Both were blonde busty whores that were just absolute delights to have on the screen. Both have starred in Porn and if you do a little research with Google I am sure you that can find their work. There is a lovely picture of Brian Urlacher feeling up Erin out there. The two started arguing which one was less of a whore at one point. That piece of tape should be sent to the Smithsonian because it can never be beat. It would have been like OJ and Michael Vick arguing who was the better role model for society.

Our final contestant and winner was Jes. She was the most beautiful girl on the show and the most normal as well. She won the show by doing two tings, not being an idiot and showing real emotion and concern for Bret. When Bret was having a diabetic attack she broke down and showed real emotion for Bret. When Bret had a diabetic attack in front of Heather, Heather told him to sack it up so she could drive the dunebuggie. Excellent move Heather.

All in all I give the show an A+. Bret took the show so freaking serious that it was hysterical the whole time. Where Flavor Flav just made a big joke out of the thing, Bret was really looking for true love and he picked the right girl. Now I hope they bring this show back but instead replace Bret Michaels with Tommy Lee. Now that will be a show that I would watch. I can see him on the first episode whipping it out in front of all of the ladies and tell them, “this is what I am working with” or something to that extent. We can only hope.