Ladies and Gentlemen, last night was the annual Barristers Ball, which is more commonly referred to as Law Prom. Last year I came up with some awards to celebrate the night so I thought I would do it again. So without further ado here are the awards for last night’s Barristers Ball. Last year I disqualified myself from the awards because I picked them but I felt like I should have won a few of them. So this year, I am eligible to win every award if I so choose. Back off if you know whats good for you.
This was a highly debated category. On one hand you had a guy dress in an all white tuxedo. On the other hand you had four guys rocking the all black look. Based on the fact that the all white tuxedo cost Mr. Arroyo around $150 to rent it for the night I am going to go with the all black look done by Mr. Tony Stanitsas, Mr. Michael Riccoboni, Mr. Brandon Douglass, and of course myself. All black like a homie. You know it.
(This was a complete homer pick considering I am one of the people that were dressed in all black. In actuality Luiz in an all white tuxedo was the best dressed person there but this is my award show so I’m giving myself and my fellow comrades this one.)
While the Best Dressed Male Category was a highly contested debate the Best Dressed Female was without a question. Ms. Jenny Riccoboni took this one hands down. Not even a question. I think you can ask anyone; this was the dress of the night. Kudos to you Jenny.
It is only our third category of the award show and we are going to have two double winners already. When Bel Biv Devo’s “Poison” came on Ms. Jenny Ricco and I tried our best to try and do the dance from the video. Based on the accounts of others that watched us, we did a superb job. We definitely won that award as well.
There were a lot of questions about the name and idea of this award from last year so I thought I would clarify at this point. In college one of our frat brothers, John Milko, would get drunk and proceed to urinate in inappropriate places like the chair in the room across the hall or on a pile of clothes in his neighbor’s room. Either way this year’s winner goes to Mr. Arroyo. He was lit up like a Christmas tree and was stumbling around like it was no one’s business and it was better that we was wearing an all white tuxedo, even down to the shoes.
While discussing how Vanni will be having his bachelor party in Vegas sometime in the upcoming year or so, his lovely fiancĂ© Sheeva put an absolute ban on Strippers at his bachelor party. I mean seriously? Come on. A bachelor party without strippers is like a baseball game without bats. It just won’t work. It is like a BLT without the Bacon. It would just be a Lettuce and Tomato sandwich. You are missing the essence of the sandwich there just like you are missing the essence of the bachelor party without the strippers. It will just be our little secret when we are in Vegas next summer for the Vanni Bachelor Party.
While in law school you generally only get to see the women covered up in class. I mean most of the girls come to class and they are bundled up even though this is California and there is never a day under 50 degrees here. However for two nights out of the year (the other being Halloween Bar Review) the ladies of Santa Clara School of Law decide to show off a little skin and they did not disappoint this night at all. There were plenty of ladies showing off a bunch of cleavage (or which someone refers to Su-Su) and let me tell you that it was quite a shocker by some. I will remain nameless because I am a gentleman but just wow. Some were just hanging out there and some I couldn’t keep my eyes off of much to chagrin of my lovely date but there was definitely one girl in particular that even she couldn’t keep her eyes off of. She is the winner of the Wow! Those are New Award.
Another one of the easiest awards to decide. At one point Sarah and I were dancing and we were really getting into it dancing to anything and everything. Next thing you know Andrew “Pokey” Cross and his lovely date Kelli started dancing next to us. They start dancing all crazy. The floor at this point was a bit slick from plenty of people spilling their beverages all over the place. So I’m dancing with Sarah and look over at Pokey and Kelli dancing right at the right time. Next thing I know Kelli steps to the left and she is slips right there. I mean she was on the floor. She took one of the best dance floor diggers of all time. I reached down with Pokey and picked her right up and made a comment about how the floor was slick. Pokey took a look at me, rolled his eyes, and said “The slick floor, right.” A classic moment. While this didn’t top last year’s moment in all actuality nothing ever could.