Skateboarders: Cool Dudes or the Anti-Christ?

Ok, I have to get this off my chest. I have found the first thing that I hate about California. At first I thought this was a dreamland. I mean look at the weather, the scenery, the women. What could anyone complain about? Until now… It took me almost two full years of living in the wonderful state of California to find it but it literally just hit me (this will be a pretty apparent joke in about 10 seconds) so here it goes.

I FREAKING HATE SKATEBOARDERS!!!!!!

Wow. That felt surprisingly very good. Back home in Boston, you were the weird kid if you were the one rocking a skateboard. No one did it. No one had one. No one would be caught dead riding a skateboard. Here out in apparently the Bizarro World of Santa Clara, California apparently every male undergrad at this damn school has a skateboard. They all ride around likes its no big thing and can’t control anything that they are doing. As of today I have been either crashed into or hit by an errant skateboard three separate times. You ever been hit on the side of an ankle with a skateboard? That freaking kills. Luckily each time it was some small hippy looking kid that couldn’t do any damage from crashing into me but what if someone was my size and crashed into someone their size on a skateboard. I would honestly kill them.

Its not like this campus is monstrous and that walking from one end of the other takes any time what so ever. Literally to walk from the furthest point on the south of Campus to the north is about a 7-minute walk. The skateboard isn’t going to save you that much time over walking. The point is people do it here to look cool and not for the functionality purpose. I mean seriously. I saw a kid walk out of Benson Center, drop down his skateboard, skateboard the 40 yards to his dorm room, pick up his skateboard and walk into this dorm. Was the skateboard necessary in the least bit?

The only good point of the skateboard is that I get to laugh my ass off probably once every other week when I see a kid take a freaking digger of one of these things. There is nothing funnier then seeing a kid trying to act all cool on his skateboard eat shit. To me it is becoming the new nut shot. Now most people would try and not laugh in someone’s face when this happens but my hatred for skateboarders has become so deep that I don’t hide a damn thing. I laugh out loud and right in their face. Serves them right for being a douche on a skateboard.

I know I am not alone in this sentiment. If I was in charge of Santa Clara University I would make skateboarding illegal on campus. Let them ride around anywhere they want outside of campus but once on campus, you are footing it. They are one big collision away from having a big lawsuit on their hands and this is the simple solution to preventing it.

So here it is. Santa Clara University is currently looking for a new President and I see no better candidate then myself. I am educated, Catholic, have current leaderships roles by being President of the Law School Basketball League, etc. I mean lets be honest, this campus would become a whole lot more interesting if I was in charge. At this point I would like to throw my name in to the ring as a potential candidate to be the new president of Santa Clara University. Can we change (most importantly getting these damn skateboarders of this campus)? YES WE CAN!!!

JOHN F. KAZANOVICZ II IN 2008!!!!!

Has the Cell Phone Changed Humanity?

Everyday I walk to and from school from my house that is roughly 5 to 7 minutes away. I generally do this a few times a day actually and there is something that I have noticed in the past week or two. There has not been a single time that I have walked to school that I have not seen at least one (generally way more) people talking on their cell phone. It seems that people have lost the ability to walk to and from where they are going without talking on their cell-phone. Literally yesterday I saw probably 50-60 people walking and talking on their cell phone. These people are oblivious to the world around them as they walk to wherever they are going yammering to someone on the phone probably about something totally unimportant.

People leave class and immediately take out their cell phone and start chatting. It seems that the cell phone has changed humanity in making us lose our independence. It is like a crutch to most people. I don’t want to look like I’m not important so I’m going to take out my cell phone and show the world how important I am by talking. Now I’m not superior to the masses here because I have caught myself doing the same thing. When I am making my walk home I generally call someone that I have to talk to. Whether it is calling my parents back or dealing with some sort of schoolwork, I use my 5-minute walk to take care of “business”. However, I refuse to believe that everyone on the campus here is using the phone as such. I use it on the walk for an efficiency rationale. I have no idea why everyone else is using it.

Now with email and the Internet being able to be accessed through a mobile phone America is becoming more reliant on technology. Maybe it is because America has become a society of busy bodies, or maybe it is because we just love our toys. However, I can’t stand it. I don’t want to walk next to you and hear your conversation about what professor stuck you with a lot of homework. The other day I took the Caltrain from Santa Clara up to San Francisco which is a little over an hour of train riding. I brought a book to read (The Punch by John Feinstein, I have gotten through a fair bit and it is a great read). The three people that were sitting around me decided to use their hour to talk on their cell phone at the same time about what happened the night before, what they were doing over the weekend, and who was doing who (this was an actual conversation I heard and I have been scarred since). People just can’t sit and stay to themselves at this point and I’m blaming the cell phone.

Now I understand the other argument that because of all of the technology that we as a society are more independent. We no longer have to stop and ask someone for directions because we can access Mapquest from our phones. We no longer have to ask someone what time it is because our phone can not only give you the time where you are but everywhere in the world. Is this a good thing? Is this the independence that we are all striving for? This is making us act as completely independent beings instead of as a person as part of a society. There is a balance here and I am trying to keep it, I just pray that rest of you act the same way. Whatever happened to walking down the street next to some stranger and striking up a conversation with that person? Are we as a society unable to expand our relationships because we have at our fingertips the ability to call and communicate with anyone of our choosing? I don’t know but I do know this, the cell phone has forever changed humanity and I still haven’t figure out if it’s a good thing. I’m leaning towards no.

The Second Annual Law Prom Awards

Ladies and Gentlemen, last night was the annual Barristers Ball, which is more commonly referred to as Law Prom. Last year I came up with some awards to celebrate the night so I thought I would do it again. So without further ado here are the awards for last night’s Barristers Ball. Last year I disqualified myself from the awards because I picked them but I felt like I should have won a few of them. So this year, I am eligible to win every award if I so choose. Back off if you know whats good for you.

Best Dressed Male

This was a highly debated category. On one hand you had a guy dress in an all white tuxedo. On the other hand you had four guys rocking the all black look. Based on the fact that the all white tuxedo cost Mr. Arroyo around $150 to rent it for the night I am going to go with the all black look done by Mr. Tony Stanitsas, Mr. Michael Riccoboni, Mr. Brandon Douglass, and of course myself. All black like a homie. You know it.

(This was a complete homer pick considering I am one of the people that were dressed in all black. In actuality Luiz in an all white tuxedo was the best dressed person there but this is my award show so I’m giving myself and my fellow comrades this one.)

Best Dressed Female

While the Best Dressed Male Category was a highly contested debate the Best Dressed Female was without a question. Ms. Jenny Riccoboni took this one hands down. Not even a question. I think you can ask anyone; this was the dress of the night. Kudos to you Jenny.

The "Stomp the Yard Best Dance Sequence" Award

It is only our third category of the award show and we are going to have two double winners already. When Bel Biv Devo’s “Poison” came on Ms. Jenny Ricco and I tried our best to try and do the dance from the video. Based on the accounts of others that watched us, we did a superb job. We definitely won that award as well.

The "John Milko Most Likely to Pee Somewhere Inappropriate" Award

There were a lot of questions about the name and idea of this award from last year so I thought I would clarify at this point. In college one of our frat brothers, John Milko, would get drunk and proceed to urinate in inappropriate places like the chair in the room across the hall or on a pile of clothes in his neighbor’s room. Either way this year’s winner goes to Mr. Arroyo. He was lit up like a Christmas tree and was stumbling around like it was no one’s business and it was better that we was wearing an all white tuxedo, even down to the shoes.

The "Turd in the Punch Bowl" Award

While discussing how Vanni will be having his bachelor party in Vegas sometime in the upcoming year or so, his lovely fiancé Sheeva put an absolute ban on Strippers at his bachelor party. I mean seriously? Come on. A bachelor party without strippers is like a baseball game without bats. It just won’t work. It is like a BLT without the Bacon. It would just be a Lettuce and Tomato sandwich. You are missing the essence of the sandwich there just like you are missing the essence of the bachelor party without the strippers. It will just be our little secret when we are in Vegas next summer for the Vanni Bachelor Party.

The "Wow! Those are New" Award

While in law school you generally only get to see the women covered up in class. I mean most of the girls come to class and they are bundled up even though this is California and there is never a day under 50 degrees here. However for two nights out of the year (the other being Halloween Bar Review) the ladies of Santa Clara School of Law decide to show off a little skin and they did not disappoint this night at all. There were plenty of ladies showing off a bunch of cleavage (or which someone refers to Su-Su) and let me tell you that it was quite a shocker by some. I will remain nameless because I am a gentleman but just wow. Some were just hanging out there and some I couldn’t keep my eyes off of much to chagrin of my lovely date but there was definitely one girl in particular that even she couldn’t keep her eyes off of. She is the winner of the Wow! Those are New Award.

The "Moment of the Night" Award

Another one of the easiest awards to decide. At one point Sarah and I were dancing and we were really getting into it dancing to anything and everything. Next thing you know Andrew “Pokey” Cross and his lovely date Kelli started dancing next to us. They start dancing all crazy. The floor at this point was a bit slick from plenty of people spilling their beverages all over the place. So I’m dancing with Sarah and look over at Pokey and Kelli dancing right at the right time. Next thing I know Kelli steps to the left and she is slips right there. I mean she was on the floor. She took one of the best dance floor diggers of all time. I reached down with Pokey and picked her right up and made a comment about how the floor was slick. Pokey took a look at me, rolled his eyes, and said “The slick floor, right.” A classic moment. While this didn’t top last year’s moment in all actuality nothing ever could.

Movies All Guys Should See

As a male between the age of 16 and 30, I have seen a lot of movies and watched a lot of television and hence feel the need to get through my day (and more importantly my life) by incessantly quoting them. Hell, I have had entire conversations with people in which it is just movie quotes (See: Any conversation between Andrew Cross and I). But it has come to my attention that some people haven’t seen as many movies and I have and more importantly the most important movies that pretty much every guy (I was going to go with everyone, but that just seemed like to big of a task) should have seen by this point in their life. I am coming to save everyone from this and going to list the movies that I think every male between the ages of 16-30 should have seen by now. Most will be obvious but I will explain my choices to the ones that don’t seem to fit. I am indefinitely going to miss something, so back the fuck off if you know what’s good for you.

Mafia Movie Category

· The Godfather

· The Godfather, Part II

· Goodfellas

· Donnie Brasco

· Casino

· Scarface

· On the Waterfront

· A Bronx Tale

· Pulp Fiction

· The Departed

· Heat

Action Movie Category

· Die Hard

· Die Hard 2

· Rambo

· Gladiator

· Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Arc

· Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

· Terminator 2: Judgment Day

· Saving Private Ryan

· Full Metal Jacket

· Apocalypse Now

· Platoon

· Bloodsport

· Predator

· Bad Boyz

· 007: Casino Royale

· 007: Goldfinger

· 007: Goldeneye

· Bladerunner

· Independence Day

· Jurassic Park

· Ocean’s 11

· Snatch

· Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels

· Se7en

· Fight Club

· Top Gun

· American History X

· JAWS

· RoboCop

· Road House

· The Rock

· Braveheart

Comedy Movie Category

· Animal House

· Caddy Shack

· Dumb and Dumber

· Tommy Boy

· Billy Madison

· Monty Python and the Holy Grail

· Airplane!

· Blazing Saddles

· Young Frankenstein

· The Big Lewbowski

· Ghostbusters

· 40 Year Old Virgin

· Superbad

· Knocked Up

· Old School

· Anchorman

· Spaceballs

· Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

· The Jerk

· My Cousin Vinny

· Wayne’s World

· American Pie

· Friday

· Happy Gilmore

· Beverly Hills Cop

· Super Troopers

· This is Spinal Tap

· The Naked Gun

· Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

· Groundhog’s Day

· Wedding Crashers

· Swingers

· The Goonies

· Revenge of the Nerds

· Big

· Zoolander

· Dazed and Confused

· Grandma’s Boy

· Talladega Nights

· There’s Something About Mary

· Gremlins

· South Park: The Movie

· Rush Hour

· Renaissance Man

· Austin Powers

· Office Space

· Three Amigos

· Rushmore

· Bottle Rocket

· Clerks

· Waterboy

· Weekend at Bernies (Pokey demanded this and although I disagree he says the lone qualification is you must see this movie and therefore it belongs)

The “I Can’t Place It but it’s a Really Good” Movie Category (so basically a drama or a horror or suspense or really something I can't place)

· The Princess Bride

· Things to Do in Denver When You’re Dead (I bet more then 95% of you haven’t seen this one. Go out and rent it or Netflix it because it is just awesome)

· Good Will Hunting

· The Shawshank Redemption

· The Usual Suspects

· Rounders

· Back to the Future

· Stand by Me

· Silence of the Lambs

· One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

· The Shining

· Tombstone

· A Few Good Men

· Forest Gump

The Sports Movie Category

· Hoosiers

· Blue Chips

· The Program

· Raging Bull

· Bull Durham

· Rocky 1-4 (But not 5, you hear me!)

· Slapshot

· The Longest Yard (the original with Burt Reynolds, not that piece of crap with Adam Sandler)

· Brian’s Song (if you don’t cry at this flick, you are not human)

· Any Given Sunday

· Field of Dreams

· Pumping Iron (the unintentional comedy in this movie is ridiculous. It could go in the comedy section it is that funny)

· The Bad News Bears (once again, the original)

· Remember the Titans

· Rudy

· Major League 1 and 2

· White Men Can’t Jump (You can listen to Jimi, but you can’t hear Jimi.)

· Karate Kid

· Searching for Bobby Fisher (Take the dwaw. You alweady lost and you don’t even know it)

· The Natural

· Hoop Dreams

· Miracle

· Teen Wolf

· He Got Game

Sci-Fi/Fantasy Category

· Star Wars IV: The New Hope

· Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back

· Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi

· Lord of the Ring 1: The Fellowship of the Ring

· Lord of the Ring 2: The Two Towers

· Lord of the Ring 3: The Return of the King

· The Matrix

· Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Now I know that some of your favorite movies have been missed on this list. I am just one man and there is no way I could have come up with a truly comprehensive list. This list has been weeks in the making but as always I accept your feedback and comments. Also I have actually seen every one of these movies. So if something amazing is not on there it might be because I have no seen it (cough, Batman Begins, cough).

The Scariest Word in All of Sports

Is there a scarier word in the history of professional sports? I mean seriously the word potential scares the shit out of me when used in the world of professional sports. That guy has the potential to be the next Michael Jordan. That has been actually said about 20 times in the history of the NBA. (With Harold Miner actually getting the nickname “Baby Jordan”) People have made tens of millions of dollars off the word potential and have proceeded to do nothing with it. Jay Bilas of ESPN College Basketball Game Day throws the word potential around like its nothing.

When I heard the word Potential used in the context of sports I literally cringe. You know what potential means to me, YOU HAVEN’T DONE ANYTHING YET!!!! Ok, I got that off my chest. Ryan Leaf had the potential to be the next Drew Bledsoe. (Don’t anyone out there knock Bledsoe. I’ll hunt you down if you do.) Did Ryan Leaf become the next Drew Bledsoe? Hell No. He was out of the league in like 3 years after the San Diego Chargers blew the number 2 pick on him. Michael Olowokandi had the potential to be the next Hakeem Olajuwon or at least that was said about him prior to his overall number 1 draft pick the Clippers used on him. Did these people do anything at any point in their career? No. Yet each are probably set for life because at one point in their career, someone thought they could have been awesome.

The person that turned me off on the word potential was my high school football coach, Thomas Kasprzak (affectionately known as Coach Kaz or just Kaz. Needless to say that this got quite confusing at some points in high school. Sidenote: What are the odds of two people having the nickname Kaz and somehow being involved in Reading Memorial High School Football. Reading is about 20,000 people. Just bizarre.) I was playing freshmen football way back in the day and I heard the freshmen coach talking to Coach Kaz. The freshmen coach said “We have some talent down there but they are really raw. Some of these kids have never played football before but there are some that have the potential to be great.” Coach Kaz (always one with words) said, “Potential means as much as a bucket full of shit. Let me know when they are actually good.” This came from the same guy that decided it was a good idea to head butt me while I was wearing my helmet after turning his hat backwards because he called the wrong play and didn’t realize it until we lined up in it. It was against our rivals, Woburn (pronounced Woo-Burn for all my non Middlesex League friends), right in front of the stands where all of the parents were sitting. This was also the same game that I scored my first Varsity Football touchdown of my career because the Woburn secondary decided not to guard me as I ran a post right down the middle of the field. When talking to the Woburn players at the all-star game at the end of the year they didn’t guard me because they were told that there is no way they will throw the ball to Kaz if he is beyond 5yds down the field. Sounds like a flawed game plan but up into that point in my career they were spot on.

So now that I am off my tangent about the wonderful and illustrious Coach Kaz, potential is the scariest word in the history of sports. That’s why during last year’s NBA draft they were talking about what Greg Oden and Kevin Durant have the potential to be I was close to vomiting. They said Oden had the potential to be the next Bill Russell and that Durant had the potential to be the best scorer in the history of the NBA. There was no comparable player to him. While these both maybe true, they could end up both being as false as anything. Say Oden is never the same after microfracture surgery and turns out to be more Sam Bowie then Bill Russell. Say Kevin Durant never adds any weight or muscle to his little frame and stays at an 18ppg clip. Why we as a society feels the need to make these bold predictions of potential is a great mystery to me. I mean look at the NFL Draft. In the last 9 years more then half of the number one overall draft picks have turned out to be an absolute bust. The likes of Tim Couch, Courtney Brown, Michael Vick, David Carr, and Alex Smith are all out of the league or should be. (Don’t start sending emails about how Vick wasn’t a bust, the guy was kicked out of the NFL for dog fighting, that is a bust in my opinion or that it’s too early to tell about Alex Smith or how Rusca will defend David Carr because he is from Fresno St. I watch Alex Smith play all too much being out here in the Bay Area and let me tell you, he sucks.)

I ask you to stop using the word potential. Jay Bilas said that Eric Gordon, the 19 year old freshmen point guard, has the potential be the next great guard in the NBA and is comparable to Isiah Thomas. Isiah is one of the best point guards in the history of the NBA. It’s a little early to make that comparison. Just stop it all ready.

Ok, I'm off my soapbox and can calm down now. That had the potential of getting ugly if I didn't. Ah shit... son of a bitch.

The White Wash

This posting is about a rare phenomenon in the world of basketball today. This phenomenon is almost as rare as not seeing Britney Spears’ vagine when she gets out of a car. The phenomenon is called the White Wash. Many people probably don’t even know what the white wash is. A wikipedia search of white wash gives us Whitewash, or calcimine, kalsomine, or calsomine is a type of inexpensive paint made from slaked lime (calcium hydroxide) and chalk (whiting). Other additives have historically included water glass, glue, egg white, Portland cement, salt, soap, milk or flour. Sadly this is not what I am talking about. The white wash I am talking about is when a team has five white (American Born) players on the floor at the same time. I told you it was rare.

The last great NBA team to actually employ a white was the 85-86 Celtics. They would go Danny Ainge, Scott Wedmen, Larry Bird, Kevin McHale, and Bill Walton all on the floor at the same time. This is the team that I argue is the single greatest NBA team of all time. They went 68-14 and more importantly 40-1 at home. Going 40-1 at home will never be done or topped again. No one has a home court advantage as the Celtics did back in the old Boston Garden. This super team would regularly employ the white wash and still went on to having the best record in the NBA and bringing the Celtics to their 16^th NBA Championship.

Why do I bring this up today you might be asking yourself? The reason is I don’t think a single NBA team could even do a white wash never mind one that might actually be able to compete. (Quick Research shows that no NBA team can throw out a white wash) I can’t remember where the stat came from but White Americans only make up 6% of the NBA at this point. The leading White American scorer is Mike Dunleavy Jr. at 17.7ppg which puts him at 52^nd the league. At this point the chance of getting an NBA team to throwing a true white wash together on the court is seriously 0%.

So the real point of this column is to coin a new term. The new term is the Euro Wash. As many people have recently realized but there has been a steady influx of foreign NBA players in the last couple of years. The last three MVP awards have gone out to foreigners (Steve Nash (Canada) twice, and Dirk Nowitski (Germany)). Now Euro Wash doesn’t mean that they have to be from Europe but just not born in the United States. (It was the only way I could get this to work out.) A quick look (I mean spending less then 10 minutes of research) leads me to believe that 3 NBA teams can currently throw out a Euro wash and still compete at a relatively high level. Those three teams are the San Antonio Spurs, Los Angeles Lakers and Toronto Raptors. Their lineups would respectively be:

San Antonio Spurs

Tony Parker

Manu Giniboli

Tim Duncan

Fabricio Oberto

Fransisco Ellson

Los Angeles Lakers

Sasha Vujacic

Kobe Bryant

Vladimir Radmanovic

Ronny Turiaf

Pau Gasol

Toronto Raptors

Jose Calderon

Carlos Delfino

Jorge Garbajose

Andre Bargnani

Rasho Nesterovic

While in reality only the Toronto Raptors should count, all of those players were born outside of the United States. Kobe Bryant was born in Italy because that is where his dad was playing professional basketball at the time and Tim Duncan was born in the Virgin Islands. If I had to pick one of those three teams in a game against either of the others it would be the Los Angeles Lakers. Kobe and Gasol are just too good. Its sad to say that is the closest a team can get to a white wash in today’s NBA.

But the subtle underlying point of this post is that the White American NBA player is becoming a thing of the past. (Steve Nash is Canadian and therefore doesn’t count) Now I am not a racist by sense of the word (Some seem to believe that being an Italian from Boston that I genetically predisposed to being a racist but that is not true.) but the only hope of a White American NBA superstar is Kevin Love, the freshmen at UCLA who could very well be the College Player of the Year this year. (I think Tyler Hansborough of UNC or Michael Beasley of Kansas St. are more deserving but Love is mentioned along with them when the award is discussed) He is big and strong and knows how to play the game of basketball. He has a chance to be something great and until then the only other hope of a White American being an NBA All-Star lays on the shoulders of Chris Kaman but lets be honest with Andrew Bynum becoming a beast and Shaquille O’Neal returning to the Western Conference, Kaman has no chance of ever being an NBA All-Star.

My Thoughts...

I had to wait sometime before I made a statement or some comments. I had to let it all sink in and let it meddle for a bit. Many people have come to me asking for my thoughts. They ask me what I am thinking and my opinions. I have held back waiting for the words to come to me. I had to wait to figure out the perfect way of saying it. There are so many different thoughts and emotions running through my mind and my body that I just don’t really know yet. I mean to quote the great Ron Burgundy, “I’m in a glass case of emotion!!!”

Of course I am talking about the return of American Gladiators to NBC, Monday nights at 8pm. (Psych!!!) I really don’t know what to think yet. While the action has been amazing (Powerball has always been my favorite and a game that my friends and I used to play until an unfortunate incident that resulted in Mark Logsdon’s leg getting smashed and cracked under the ferocious hit of Mark Dignard which subsequently ended Logsdon’s soccer career. We never played the game again.) but they spend way too much time talking to the damn contestants about their lives. I mean I watched the other night and with in the first 20 minutes of the show they only had one total event, women’s hit and run, which might be the worst event that they have added to the show. How does twenty minutes of showtime only get us to one event? That is just garbage. Last nights 90-minute show could have been 30 minutes if they got rid of all of the fluff and bullshit and just focused on the action like the old American Gladiators did.

With this being said the physiques and strength of these new gladiators just dwarves those of the past. There is a male gladiator named Justice who is 6’8” 290lbs. He is one of the biggest men I have ever seen. Then there is Titan a four-time Mr. Universe. He has muscles in his ears. I mean he is one massive dude. There is a woman named Helga who is 6’1” 210lbs. While she doesn’t look like she has one single line of muscle on her body, she is the biggest woman I have ever seen. She just towers over all of the other women gladiators and the contestants. Then there is Crush. Aw Crush. I mean you are gorgeous. I mean just absolutely gorgeous. I can’t say enough about you without getting overly creepy. She is about 5’8” 140lbs and she was involved in Mixed Martial Arts before she became a gladiator. She is so far undefeated in the Joust and is absolutely the most beautiful thing on the show. (Pokey thinks Venom is but I have to disagree. Venom is too muscular whereas Crush looks like a normal woman but still kicks ass.)

However, the hosts of the show are just absolute garbage. In case you didn’t know the hosts are Hulk Hogan and Laila Ali (Muhammad Ali’s Daughter) and the two of them can barely speak intelligibly. I mean I would rather listen to a conversation between Shaquille O’Neal and Plaxico Burress (If you get paid that much money, learn how to speak proper English. You have the money to pay someone to teach you how to speak like a normal human.) The two add nothing to the show except for Hogan flexing and calling everyone “Brother” and Ali looking dim witted and like a deer in headlights when the camera goes on her.

All in all I do enjoy the show. I have watched every episode so far and my only question is why do they have some sort of size limit. I mean there hasn't been a male contestant that weighed over 220lbs. Why can't there be a contestant that was like 6'5" 260lbs? Thats what I want to see and I don't think its too much to ask.

All-Star Voting

I have a major problem with the way the voting is done for All-Star games in the NBA and in most sports in general. You have fans voting who generally don’t know what the hell is going on in the sport. Someone like me knows the game and knows who deserves to play in an All-Star Game should be making the decision, not Joe Schmo from West Ass that just doesn’t get the game. Better yet, why not just have the players and coach’s vote. I think they probably know more about the NBA then I do. Also there is a major difference between a Point Guard and a Shooting Guard. They should be two separate categories so you don’t end up with two shoot first guards starting. This is like how all Outfielders are lumped together in baseball. Being a Centerfielder is much different then being a right fielder. Just ridiculous.

This being said the fans voting this year in the NBA was actually not that bad. Not great by any sense of the imagination but not that bad. Here are the starters voted on by the fans.

Eastern Conference:

G – Dwayne Wade

G – Jason Kidd

F – Lebron James

F – Kevin Garnett

C – Dwight Howard

Western Conference

G – Allen Iverson

G – Kobe Bryant

F – Carmelo Anthony

F – Tim Duncan

C – Yao Ming

Actually looking at it now I only see one glaring mistake on that list, Allen Iverson. How can you have an All-Star game and not have two of the five best players in the league in Steve Nash and Chris Paul starting for the West? I mean they are the two best point guards in the league right now. They are both phenomenal and also the two most fun guys to see with the ball in their hands on the fast break.

Now some of you might be thinking, “Hey, Jason Kidd hasn’t been doing that great. How isn’t he a glaring mistake?” Well, my answer would be that every All Star game is only as good as your distributing point guard. Having a shot first point guard doesn’t do you any good in an All-Star Game. Having one of those makes it a pick up game at 3:30 at the Santa Clara gym: one pass and bad three-point shot. So as long as Jason Kidd is walking or Nash or Paul go to the Eastern Conference he should be an All Star.

Now there are 7 players that get added to each squad as alternates. The coaches and players vote and each squad get 2 guards, 2 forwards, 1 center and 2 wild card players. This is where you get make up for the Stupid NBA Fans and their voting generally. Here are my picks.

Eastern Conference:

G – Chauncey Billups

G – Caron Butler, I know he doesn’t really play a pure guard but he’s close enough.

F – Paul Pierce

F – Chris Bosh

C – Rasheed Wallace

WC – Antawn Jamison

WC – Ray Allen and if you thinking I’m being a too much of a homer, I respond with a “Go Screw Yourself” or take Rip Hamilton.

Western Conference:

G – Steve Nash

G – Chris Paul

F – Dirk Nowitski

F – Carlos Boozer

C – Chris Kaman or Marcus Camby, I really don’t care.

WC – Brandon Roy

WC – Baron Davis

There they are. Take them of leave them. The only one that if they didn’t make the list that I would seriously pissed about is Baron Davis. Since moving out to the Bay Area I have been watching a lot of the Golden State Warriors (who are based out of Oakland for all of my East Coast Readers) and Baron Davis is not only playing at an All-Star level but at a MVP level. He sometimes settle too much for a bad fall away but no one can stay in front of him and stop him from getting to the basket. The back court due of Baron Davis and Monta Ellis is arguably the best backcourt in the NBA.

As always feel free to leave a comment praising me or telling me I’m an idiot.